hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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