You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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