Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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