Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize