I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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