You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
