Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
