she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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