maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize