ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
this will be a night to untag.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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