I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
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