well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
