i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
