If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
