hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
