why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
