Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
