this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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