Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
