You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
