now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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