is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
