I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
