Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I currently don't understand fingers.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
