He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
