problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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