his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
