U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Randomize