Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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