Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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