Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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