Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
