as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
