drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
