There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize