if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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