With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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