this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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