I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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