I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
