I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
