Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
