Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
