wakey wakey hands off snakey
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize