There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I pour the whiskey from now on
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize