she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
