Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
