When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
