Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I look excited, but its just a facade.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
