i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
