Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
