I bet he comes in French.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Terrible idea I love it
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
