At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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