He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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