Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
