i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Randomize
