So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
