I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize