who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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