I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
