You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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